How to Not Give a Damn What People Think

We all do it. At some point in our life, we care what people think.

I expect for many, there’s a part of our day where we find ourselves caring too much about what others think about us. Whether that be the way you look, or how you speak, what you eat etc, we care. And what happens? We accept it. We accept the fact that we care a little bit to much because it’s exactly what many other’s around us do. We have mirrors to check ourselves in because we should care how we look to others. We have special ‘diets’ because we should care about what we eat so we look good in front of others. We have ‘fitness plans’ because we should care about the way we look to others. Yup, you get the point. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become moulded by how we think other people perceive us.

Do these jeans make me look too big? What will my friends think if I stood up for myself? Are those people over there talking about me? My friends think I’m strange because I enjoy working out – am I?

Just writing those questions makes me somewhat angry. Why on earth do we care so much? Living a life that follows the ideal notions of what other people think is an exhausting way to live and sooner or later you’ll find yourself living a life through the eyes of others.

So what do you do? You embrace the way you are and you stop giving a sh*t. That’s it.

People don’t actually care as much as you think

Funnily enough (and sorry to say this) but people don’t actually care that much about the thing you think they do. For example, ever had a great big spot covering half of your face (yes, we’re dramatic) of which you think every single person is going to look at? Well they don’t. Just like that person who says out loud they have a mountain of a spot on their face and you’ve barely noticed it. Why is this? Because we don’t actually care about somebody else’s spotty face.

We go through our daily lives thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is — they’re thinking the exact same thing.

A study done by the National Science Foundation claims that on average people have on  50,000+ thoughts a day. Therefore, if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it’s only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts.

Stop trying to please everyone – because you can’t

It would be impossible to think that you can please everyone. No matter how you treat people or what you do – you will always be judged. You’ll be judged at the gym, at work, by your family, blah blah blah… You will never be able to stop somebody judging you but you certainly can change the way it affects you.

Think about it… What’s the worst thing that can happen from somebody judging you? This requires no actions. Just thoughts. Thoughts of a individual that perhaps may then be judged themselves for judging the actions of others. The answer: Nothing. Nothing will happen because they won’t confront you nor will they probably react to it themselves. And why? Because they don’t really care. How many times have you judged somebody for wearing the strangest of clothing and did you really care? No.

But let’s just say this person does confront you and you stand up for yourself. This person will then respect you for standing your ground and having the confidence in yourself.

So start believing in yourself and standing up for what you believe in. You’ll be amazed by how many people really respect those who do. Confidence has and always be a high quality I see in others – the ‘decent’ kind of confidence, anyway.

So, here are my top tips for not caring what others think about you:

Understand what you believe in

To be confident means understanding what you value. Once you understand this then what other people think of you will become significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for . You’ll start to feel less pressured to go drinking every weekend or feeling silly for ‘enjoying’ working out 5/6 days a week, instead you will find it easier to say no because you’re certain of what you stand up in. You’ll be quite confident in saying ‘no’.

Don’t be shy

When I decided to stop caring what people thought, I started posting my fitness account onto my private social media, I talked about my fitness lifestyle more to others, I continued blogging with confidence. I made it well known that I no longer cared what people thought about me. If they didn’t like what I did then they could ‘unfriend’ me on social media (or even life!) and I would no longer be a concern in their life. Showing others that you don’t care shows a massive amount of power.

Be proud of your achievements

Again, going back to ‘don’t be shy’ and allowing yourself to be proud. Be proud of achievements you make in life, be proud of your determination and be proud enough to share it. Sure, you may be judged for being ‘big headed’ but you know what? Who cares. You’ve worked your ass of, so be damn proud of yourself. Of course, express your achievements in a positive manner and perhaps don’t go too OTT (nobody likes that kinda person). You may even find yourself inspiring others to follow in the same foot steps and to go after what they believe in. Yes, cringey but true. 

Surround yourself with like minded people

The sooner you disconnect yourself from those bringing you down then the better. I’ve made it no secret that I lost a few friends because of the way they were judging me but for me, disconnecting myself with those people made my life so much better. Not in a nasty way but more in a way that we no longer had the same interests etc. Now, I’m friends with those who have the same interests or at least support me and my choices.

Of course it won’t be easy at first and you’ll find yourself still caring at times, but don’t give up. Learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and it will grow with time.  Just remember, that not everybody cares as much as you think they do. And if they do then just keep thinking ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ Nothing – because you’ll be standing up for yourself and expressing your confidence which trust me, we all envy in others.

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